Prince Eric

Why Prince Eric decides to go for a voiceless redhead is beyond me; Vanessa was way hotter! But let’s not waste time bitching about his relationship decisions. I’m all about the man himself; I went simply gaga for his shiny black hair, perfect smile, and sexy outfit. Aside from his good looks, he has an adorable Old English Sheepdog, Max (my dream dog!). Who could forget the moment when the ship is sinking, and Eric goes back to save Max, who jumps into his waiting arms. He sacrificed himself for his dog. What a gentleman!

As if these traits weren’t enough, Eric has even more laudable qualities; for example, I’ve always had a thing for musicians, and he plays the flute! Also, the party scene on his ship was fucking badass! I would have loved to spend an evening on board! Perhaps an even better night would be spent in his castle- we all know how much Ariel enjoyed it, and she nearly destroyed the experience due to the hijinx of her Jamaican crab buddy. I would never do such a thing! Eric would be all mine. I would have had plenty to say, and sing to him any time (songbird). Really, someone should create a vacation site similar to chateau Prince Eric, where one can be bathed by two nice house servants, fed a delicious crab dinner by a French chef, and awoken the following morning with a carriage ride to a solitary pond for a romantic rowboat interlude with Prince Eric himself. I wouldn’t miss the chance to kiss that hunk! Ariel blew it. Seriously, that would be the best fucking weekend getaway ever. Swoon.

Here’s a video of that romantic moment when Ariel (the fool) fucks it up, backed by the best damn song in the movie “Kiss de Girl.”